Rarely, rarely do I have to destroy a canvas. It's not that I'm super-amazing, out of the ballpark 100% of the time, it's just that part of the thrill, my gimmick, if you will, is being stuck and then resurrecting said stuck painting into an acceptable final resting place. So, totally destroying a canvas is like taking my marbles and walking away from my own game- something I don' t do lightly. And the only reason I did it today was because I scraped some layers too hard and the canvas ripped quite noticeably, which is NOT part of my game. The end. I should have stuck with my original plan of working on watercolors, but noooo, had to muck around with the oils when I knew better.
I have to get my ass in gear. I'm going through some personal stuff which has been weighing me down. I have a few upcoming events, which I should be balls out excited about and I'm frigging moping around worrying about what life will be like at 80 and thinking maybe I should have settled for what was behind door number 1, instead of risking it all for door number 3.
I received an email inviting me to partake in a huge event/show at the end of March. It sounds like a blast and an opportunity to sell some work to a captive audience over the course of a weekend. Then in May, I've got a nice studio visit scheduled. Point blank, I need to quit worrying and whining and just frigging get back to work.*
So there. A swift kick in the butt.
*Now, define work:
*I caught myself once again getting confused over the difference between work and job when speaking to a civie. For me, an opportunity to sell art is technically "work." Even more technically, it should very well be considered my damn job, and yet, I guess because I also consider it to be an intellectual pursuit- I tend to discuss it rather inadequately in terms of a real job to the civilian population. It's a problem and I really need to communicate a little better. Otherwise I fear I come across as one of the ladies who lunch and who happens to push paint around. Not that there's anything thing wrong with ladies who lunch, mind you.
Perhaps I should have a business card that says CEO or owner/operator. I like owner/operator. I am an operator.
1 comment:
Yeah, those doors can be a real bitch. Events can be a good distraction, although my upcoming solo has been only partially effective in getting my butt moving. Surely you will be more motivated than me....
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