I obsess. I've been obsessing over how I wished I had said this or that in a public forum, and why I get that weird empty feeling when I sometimes talk about the work, and I just figured it out.
It's NOT about an individual painting! Taking about an individual painting doesn't feel right for me, because the work is not about an individual painting; it's about painting as a verb, rather than painting as a noun, and because that's so integrated in the act of painting, talking about the finished painting forces me in an uncomfortable position of speaking about it as a noun.
Well duh!
That, and the existentialist question of whether I paint to record the world around me or whether the world around me is an excuse to paint.
It's over.
Nov 7, 2020. Tears of joy and relief. It's been unreal and I'm ready to get back to a sense of normalcy. The desert has been tough.
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