February 08, 2011

In progress. I think I'm digging myself into a hole.

2 comments:

Carla said...

Have you seen "the mystery of picasso" film? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0049531/
I was amazed by how much time he spent digging himself into holes. I remember thinking "whoa, let's just call this one a dud and move on". You could tell he knew how awful it was too. He kept working it, even when you knew it would never be a great piece. These were in ink, so everything was additive, and limited in what you could remove and change. It seemed he kept working it when he knew there would not be a great outcome. And there wasn't per se, but he would always take it somewhere and not give up. That was an eye-opener for me, that Picasso wanted to continue following the process when all hopes of a great outcome were lost.

M.A.H. said...

Wow. I so know that feeling, especially with the watercolors/gouache. I can't figure whether it's compulsion or stubbornness, or even vanity- like I can't accept making a loser so I have to keep working on it. Some kind of refusal to accept defeat, mixed in with some kind of hope that I'm a magician.

I'm doing inventory this week and am mystified by what works I destroyed because I thought they were bad. I think at the time, it's not so much that I thought they were bad, but that I was too tapped out to engage with them anymore on certain terms- whether accepting them for what they were or pushing them through. And of course, space. I didn't move (2) 12-pound weights to Nashville thinking OMG, 24 more pounds, my moving bill will be astronomical.

I will check the film out, sounds great. Thanks.

It's over.

Nov 7, 2020. Tears of joy and relief. It's been unreal and I'm ready to get back to a sense of normalcy. The desert has been tough.