Happy Mother's Day.

I come from one of those families where nothing is ever wrong. I mean, we could be a house full of loony tunes and the sky could be falling, but by God, every thing is OKAY. And maybe it is. Maybe normal isn't all what it's cracked up to be.

The facility called me this morning. They need to give my mom oxygen and she is refusing. They also said she is restless during the night.

Technically, she's there because she fractured her lumbar in a fall, but they couldn't help but notice some other things. No one has a straight answer, because I guess at a certain point, dementia is dementia is dementia, but when I spoke with the doctor about medication for Alzheimer's he suggested that it probably wasn't Alzheimer's because the symptoms would have been more pronounced in her 60's or 70's. When I think back 15 years ago what suddenly becomes crystal clear are some major OCD issues, that in retrospect, have been there all along. Probably other things as well. My mom is an excellent candidate for Asperger's (didn't speak until she as 5, skipped grades in school, limited interests, etc.) At this point the nurses and doctors who are dealing with my mom have agreed these issues are present. And as I told the doctor, I grew up around this stuff, so it was normal to have a mom teach me how to make a military style bed with mitered corners- only she wasn't in the military. The obsessive tendency to have everything perfect and clean and just so, is in direct conflict with how the last few years have been playing out, which is where the confusion sets in. What makes one stop doing? If you take away a person's tasks because they're not performing them as well as they could, it seems like another task has to be in place. She was compulsive about numbers and record keeping all her life, but that fell by the wayside a few years ago. I asked my mother if she would help me with bookkeeping when I got back, and she said she would.Of course, it's not like I'm going to rely on her as my CPA, but I think recording numbers in columns would be therapeutic.

Yesterday while packing the studio, I came across things and would ask myself, "Why?" I can always justify art supplies, but really, when was the last time I used acrylic gloss medium? Never. I have it because I used it as a demo in a painting class I taught about 8 years ago. I loathe gloss medium. The list goes on and extends to studio ephemera, small objects not suitable for children under 3, an extension cord collection, and a plethora of other things not dire to my current studio practice. Occasionally I caught myself picking up certain items and having a strong flash of discovering the same item in a drawer at my mom's house- a bundle of old pens that don't work, for instance. Maybe they worked when they were bundled. I don't know. I became ruthless, alternating between the trash and a large box to donate. I put an ad on craigslist for free supplies- used spray paint etc. On the other hand, I have that tendency to think, will I ever need it? I have a collection of how-to books I peruse for teaching purposes, but when was the last time you saw me post a Japanese style watercolor of a fish, and more importantly, have I ever taught that someone to paint a Japanese watercolor of a Koi fish? No, I have not. Will I? No.

Packing and cleaning Culver City Studio, Day 2. Boxes to storage this morning. Fang being fussy on the appetite. Open House again.

I really, REALLY have to get with the titles on these paintings.