July 31, 2009

Lollygagging for a day.

I spent the day lollygagging and shooting the breeze. Most of it was pleasant, though there was one unsettling occurrence. That’s the best word I can come up with for now. Nothing tragic or seriously disturbing, just odd. Not quite square peg in a round hole kind of odd, but odd enough that I’m still obsessing on how odd and I still don’t know what to make of it. Art World politics and decorum are not my strong suit, and possibly because of this, I try to be peripheral. I know it must sound strange to want to be marginal in a place where everyone is hoping to stand out and be #1, but when all is said and done, I’d rather be content with what I’ve done, rather than worrying about what other people thought or what kind of mark I should have been making. Not very playerish of me to fes that. I have no idea what it would be like NOT to have art be such a major part or THE focus of my life, (Well actually I do, there was a period where martinis and manhattans were a major focus, but I digress.) and yet, on occasion, I've been able to have meaningful conversations with a few select people about something other than art.

I so need a vacation. [refrain]

Yesterday was the last day of the semester. Yay! Tough 6 weeks, but they pulled through. I still have to calculate grades, hence today’s agenda of lollygagging. I did however spend time answering a former student’s email and was quite touched by the fact that he had sought out my response to a project he did for a design class he just completed. I won’t go into detail, but apparently he had caught quite a bit of flack from some “left-brain engineers” as he politely put it, about his choices, both conceptually and aesthetically, and he wanted to know my opinion. He sent me a jpeg, outlined the project and told me his rationale for what he did. I was happy to reply.

Usually I wait until the end of the semester to show images of my work. This semester, I did not offer that up at all. It seemed like a lost cause. I had a student this semester who told me she couldn’t see the still life because she had gotten tired and decided to draw slumped over with her head propped up on her elbow. A vortex of apathy, I tell you.

I so need a vacation. [refrain]

I have an appointment with the divorce lawyer next week. I cannot believe how long I’ve dragged this out due to mere procrastination. I have let moss grow on that part of my life. Change must be the answer.

I so need a vacation. [refrain]

Oh and I hate to spoil this, but if you’re hooked on "The Wire" and have not finished the series, turn away now.

Omar is dead. I thought I would be way more crushed when it happened. Of course I knew it was coming, and there was even a moment of foreshadowing that made it obvious how it would play out, but still, I imagined I’d feel the same way I did when Wild Bill got offed in Deadwood. I swore I wouldn’t continue watching the series. I did of course. And even when they show Omar in a body bag in the morgue, I had a moment of suspended disbelief in hopes his eyes would open and he'd wake up, only to realize it was “The Wire” after all, not “Lost” or “3o Days of Night.”

I so need a vacation. [refrain]

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It's over.

Nov 7, 2020. Tears of joy and relief. It's been unreal and I'm ready to get back to a sense of normalcy. The desert has been tough.