I'll just say that being an artist, cobbling together an income from (lack of)sales, and from (not)teaching in the California community college system, along with getting divorced during an economic recession, is not for the faint of heart. No siree Bob. Nor would I recommend a trip to the lawyer during the holiday season. What a downer. The whole thing really sucks. It doesn't help knowing I have two years to stay in this house before we have to sell it based on the other party's desire to sell- the other party, being my stbx and not much of a party, I might add- and that I need to move along. Nor did it help when my lawyer told me maybe I could find a cheap space in Chinatown, though it might not be the best neighborhood. Gotta fuckin love that advice. I'm surfuckinprised she didn't tell me where I could find a sale on cat food.
Moving along to the second part of my badass day, I would always suggest to go with your first instinct. I'm saying that in public, because tonight, in a totally unrelated event, I tried to be open and egoless to something that was in direct conflict to my gut instinct. It's all rather ridiculous to get my knickers in a knot about, but upon closer inspection the whole shenanigan doesn't bode well for me. The good news is that I've changed my mind about something and having made that decision, I anticipate sleeping better tonight. My ego will thank me and I can get on with business.
Alas, the day was not a total loss. The mail brought a delightful surprise. Fang collects art now, starting with a print by Sharon Butler. We're both pleased. Thank God for the mail. And for bonus points, I dislodged the seatbelt my dear friend, Meg accidentally shut the car door on- without breaking the door handle off, saving myself a trip to the bloody body shop. woo-hoo.
4 comments:
Does Fang have the same mailing address?
Go with the gut. That's what both best selling books "Blink" and "Flow" advise. . . unless, of course, you are trained in bad decisions.
I had to google "stbx".
I am willing to bet that bizarre and serendipitous opportunities will begin to appear. Isn't it always that way? You finally say yes to a new an ok living space and then that afternoon you are asked to loft sit a mansion for a year.
the gut thing and decorum has really been in the forefront for me too. (i blame the moon.)
also, the things we are trained to do or think get in the way sometimes of just plain old reckless abandon or even basic survival.
making the brain confusing with the gut.
especially with so much opposition or difficulties.
know you are supported.
we can do this....whatever that is.
some of that sucks. some of that is great. damn, i wish there wasn't so much crap with the great sometimes.
Ugh, somehow my comment window got blown away after carefully composing an epistle to everyone.
So in a nutshell, thanks LL and EM. And SGL, especially, thanks for the shot of optimism. You are in my thoughts and I think about how easily I go into self-pity when other people do not.
I read Flow several years ago and still remember the feeling of "yes, I have experienced that," and how wonderful it was to identify with that. I should reread it. I will put Blink on the list.
Gut instinct always good. Hesitation, not so good. I believe there are lessons I need to repeat until I learn how to get them right. That feeling of déja vu is getting old though.
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