Why can't I let this painting die a respectable death instead of torturing us both?

Oh wait, never mind.

I cannot let go and admit defeat and yet, when I look at the photograph, it's absolutely perfect. It conveys exactly the right amount of sadness and pathos that is wrapped up in that painting. I am brilliant once again and can now move on. Thank you, rusty paint cans.

Today is a two-post day. Post #1

I am always amazed at the generous responses I receive from my work. Occasionally it's from a guy, but more often than not, it's from younger women artists. I'll assume that everyone and their mother gets kudos for their work, and I'm the only one who's constantly caught off guard, but for me there's something significant in making abstract work that connects to other people, because it's not the outward stuff I talk about that people connect with and it's not the artist statement or the fumbled talks- it's the inner stuff that resonates. That's the crazy part- the stuff that's on the canvas still manages to convey, long after I've left the scene. I received a link this morning to a blog post about my work and it made me feel good about being a painter and doing what I do. Which in turn made me want to keep the goodness cycle going, so I went to the Hammer show to soak up some more paintings.

Today is a two-post day. Post #2

Oranges and Sardines, Conversations on Abstract Painting.

I'm pretty much a sucker for any painting show, but especially ones that take a critical look at abstract painting. Since my blog makes no pretense at striving to be a source of cutting edge reviews, I'll just gush over a few paintings and artists in list form. Dry, but to the point.

Francis Bacon, Figure with Two Owls, Study for Velazquez.
Those 2 owls have always looked liked pointy-toed boots to me in reproductions and I always laugh at myself for forgetting they're owls and thinking they're boots. Then again it's not like the piece is titled Figure with Two Pointy-Toed Boots, Study for Velazquez.

David Hockney, Little Splash.
Amy Sillman.
Howard Hodgkin, After Matisse.
Paul Thek, God is.
Albert Oehlen
Chris Wool (According to his list, we're art very art compatible.)
Dieter Roth
Charline Von Heyl
Guston
At this point I'm realizing I'm naming half the show.

Upward and onward

I just lovingly placed the RFQ for the Los Angeles Intl. Airport project in the mail. I don't know why organizing the elements and resizing jpegs seemed so time-consuming yesterday. Some days are just molasses. It felt productive though and I've always envisioned some of the watercolors translated into tiles, so it was doubly good to throw my name in the hat. As a painter, I'd actually like to do public art, but I sell myself short thinking that my work is too chaotic to be adapted for a public space. No more. I'm beginning to see the possibilities.

This week is going by fast.

Back to work

Brief video coffee break on Skype, followed by testing iChat for possible multi-chat. I officially prefer Skpye for audio clarity and ease of menu navigation. I almost got in a virtual fisticuffs with a friend who is seriously lacking in social skills- over an error message I was receiving on iChat, so I disengaged before I needed to apologize for anything. I don't deal well with mean people, know-it-alls, and condescending arrogant cads. I mean seriously, who does? ( I guess that wasn't very nice of me to refer to my friend as a mean person, but I'm pretty sure they'd consider the rest of the description a complement.) Anyway, enough of the hurt feelings.

I'm working on a project proposal for LAX and my ADD kicks in while working on the computer. It's an easy app- I already wrote the proposal, and the tedious part seems to be just putting all the elements together and burning a disk. Silly, because it's not that tedious.

Next up is developing a small portfolio specifically for a corporate client and then after that I get to reward myself by putting together some ideas for a solo show.

Life is good, I just need to remain focused.

Wolf Blitzer meets Princess Leia

Wolf Blitzer meets Princess Leia

Okay, so I wasn't working late at the office afterall...

Being somewhat of a geek, I'm trying to figure out how much Internet presence I want to maintain. I like keeping a blog, not because what I say is so very important or even informative, but simply as kind of a record of my process and influences, or possibly even therapy, depending on my mood, but whatever. Then there is Flickr, a place to dump images. I tried Twitter, but felt too self-centered broadcasting to no one in particular and frankly I didn't care about following or being followed. Then after ignoring several requests, I broke down and joined Facebook and feel slightly more connected to various communities since I actually know most of the people I'm friends with (at least at this point). But to be honest, I feel like I've been cheating on the blog by spending time on Facebook. Facebook knows the happy, cheerful, sound bite me because whenever I log on, I'm so excited to see Facebook. The blog knows most of my little mood swings, temporary setbacks, and victories. I'm leading a double life. One's abbreviated, the other's a recap.

Anyway, that's where I've been and it's out in the open now. No more pretending I've been working late at the studio, when really I was slutting around over at Facebook.

Except this coming week, I have a ton of stuff to do: 2-3 proposals, for starters, followed by a couple of mini-projects. That's like a full week right there. Plus remember, Tuesday from 2-3PM is my Skype Video Conference Coffee Break Which is Also a Real-life Coffee Break For Anyone Who Wants to Stop By.

(mahstudio)

So easily distracted, I am.

I am prepping 2 works on paper for shipping. Easy, though it's slightly time-consuming as I have to cut forty, 7-inch squares of glassine. But really, it's a breeze as far as prep work goes. After getting the first set done, I realized my streamlined method was neither streamlined, nor methodical. The works were a recently commissioned piece for one of my dayish jobs if you will. It's too complicated to explain the logistics, but for the first painting, I gridded it out and simply clocked in and painted each square separately. It's somewhat of a copy of an older work, except, smaller, longer, and different media. I swore I'd never copy myself, (my line in the sand) but it's actually hysterical to me that I did, and the only reason I did was that there's a possibility that the original was going to be sold as well. AND they're going to further alter it by framing each square separately. Like I said, it's too complicated to explain the whole thing. I still have some reservations about copying myself, but not too many at this point because I've discovered I really like money and find it useful in order to purchase things and pay my bills.

Plus, If you know how I paint, it's hysterical to see how I tried to reproduce coffee splatters, drips and general mayhem using a computer, a lightbox, pencil outlines, and a tiny brush. The only wild card was mixing colors. I always have to eyematch, because there's no way in hell I'm EVER going to write down some formula or even the names of the damn colors I use in my work. Anyway it was so meta.

The second piece was guided by the first piece, only I didn't grid it out, I just winged it. My experience was that for the dayish job work, I prefer being routine and methodical, but it's nice to be able to summon both of my superpowers when I have to.

The next big thing.

I've been ambling in the studio lately, so I got all social and ventured out on Friday to do a studio visit with another painter and drop off some smaller works at the gallery. While doing the studio visit, the concept behind small paintings vs. large paintings came up and he referred to his smaller paintings as "one-offs." I related, but for me the concept of one-offs function as a larger body of work in and of itself. Index, catalog, atlas, and bulletin board come to mind.

At the gallery I talked about small paintings, and tried very hard to avoid or validate the use of the word "sketches," a term several people want to use when discussing the smaller paintings. I am defiant this way. The term sketch implies an incomplete or roughed out thought, one that serves as a basis for a larger or more complete work. This is my anti-sketch point: the smaller works are complete, in their incompleteness. On the other hand, I will acquiesce to the use of the word sketch as, "a comical or amusing person or thing." The exception to this rule are the small paintings that want to be bigger paintings but can't quite seem to make it. And again, this would be the point in my world of frustrated narratives and dystopian wonderments.

I anthropomorphize the paintings way too much.

The whole point of this was really to say that I need some quiet time to think about the next big thing.

It's raining.

Actually, I've decided to bake a coffee cake rather than blog this morning.